Keep My YouTube Channel Or Not

I find it to be a great hobby of mine to create YouTube videos. However, I have become more worried about people watching and mainly subscribing. When I first started making videos again I just did it because it was fun and a great way to keep friends and family updated via video, or just making random things.

Now all I do is check to see if the latest video has any new views, if I have a new subscriber, and so on. What was once just a kick is now more of a "job" as in that I want to really grow my channel into something more than it is.

Let me know in the comments what you think. I love making videos but it makes me wonder if I am spending more time worrying about the viewership than creating fun and interesting videos.

My channel is youtube.com/lindaann08

What do you think?

Creativity, Where Has It Gone?

I want to blog, I genuinely miss my creative writing. I look back over my postings on Xanga and so many of them are creative and full of energy and life. Where did it all go? Did I lose it when my Bipolar Disorder was roped in and tamed with medicine? I don't see how that could be. It is still there just slightly out of reach. I stare at my blog page and think to myself that I have failed this blog and I have created an AdSense thinking that I could somehow use that as an incentive to want to write more, be more involved. However all it has done is have me watch it struggle to earn a penny here and there.

What is the point when there is all of this untouched creativity just beyond my grasp and I struggle to grab it and hold on to it tightly. I want to create so much with this blog. I don't know where to start. Do I divulge my past postings from Xanga to see if this creates more energy?? Or what about staring at everyone else's blogs hoping that some of what they write will spark a light of fire in me. I haven't found it yet. Maybe if I keep my eyes open long enough, maybe just maybe, I will find it again.

Comments are very much welcomed. What do you think? Should I publish some old posts from Xanga?  Do I try to find creative content through YouTube? What about other blogs, do I continue to search through them until I find something that ignites the flame?

Help me find my light, my spark of love in really blogging and not just staring at the screen void of words to type but so many things I want to say. Please, let me know what you think.

Much love always
Linda

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Winter Favourites and Semi Haul