Milkmaid Braid hair trial

So as I sat watching Zoella's new video on her how to: milkmaid braid I decided I would give it a go. This is how it turned out.

http://youtu.be/LoYvqeXmWII

Alex G - Bones (Official Music Video)

Me and Panic Attacks Have Become Friends.... Not Good....

It has been two weeks since my first set of panic attacks have returned. I am surrounded by nothing that seems to be triggering or upsetting. The fear sneaks in and not moments later I am in a full blown attack. Where did this come from??? My medication seems to be working to keep me stabalised but if I keep having panic attacks for no reason then what is going on with my brain? I hate it, the massive sobbing, almost being completely inconsolable. I just curl up in a ball and cry my eyes out until my breathing becomes so difficult to the passing out point, I have to either find a way to calm down, like through the app SAM, which is awesome, or my boyfriend has held me until I can calm down enough to breathe normally.

Someone have any insight? Maybe it is all in my head and in my control, or maybe it is a change in hormones since I have come off of my birth-control shot. Hmmmm, I bet you a hundred dollars that my depo shot is the cause. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. I give up.

Pampered night out

http://youtu.be/GXiTVKq1FXM

Plugging it again

Please remember I have adverts on my blog so that I may be able to make some money that I can pay my student loans off.

SIMPLE:  Click on the advert,  Stay on the site for 5 minutes so click around or leave it open browse for a few moments and leave the tab open, and finally you can click out. There is nothing that will affect or effect your computer. There are no viruses linked to the adverts and it is completely safe.

Please help a college student out. :)

Body Conscious and Spiritually lost

I have realised in the last few weeks that due to my birth control my weight has climbed to a weight I never wanted to reach and instead of understanding that my body has changed I have decided to berate myself and use the most dangerous and excessive ways to control something I cannot control right now. I am cutting myself off of the birth control because I am so sick of my body and how it looks.

This has become a night mare. I have tried to use the "Unleash Your Thin" plan but because I have had limited computer use to look at the videos and materials they have and this makes me more upset with my body. I am a runner but my weight increases and decreases the same five pounds with little noticeable change.

Which that brings me to being spiritually lost. I find myself at a loss for words to pray. It is almost like I no longer know how to pray. I am so unthankful for the body that I do have that allows me to function, move, walk, use my hands and feet, run, breathe, and so on. I take for granted that I am blessed to have legs that can run and arms that can lift because there are so many out there that don't have the physical capabilities I do. So how can I be a spiritual person when I am so unhappy and unappreciative with what I have been blessed with?

Today is just word-vomit semi-controlled.

Let me know what suggestions you have that has helped you.