Makeup Tutorial Using Profusion Palette

November "Thankful" Love With Food Box

Get Ready With Me Fast Forward

How NOT to Dye Your Hair

Trying to be A Superwoman

Gratefully working two jobs and managing a house is a huge task and I have been and continue to be willing to take this head on. Yet, where is the break? When do I find time to get my groceries, laundry done, going to the gym and work seven days a week??? Plus I make just a few dimes on my YouTube videos that if I were to put more effort into making more videos and uploading regularly, I may just be able to make a few dollars here and there, but where is there time?

I am grateful. At one point I did everything I could to have a job but finding dead ends. Now, I gratefully have two jobs that are driving me to become a better person, a better version of myself.  But where is "me" time? Why can I not find five minutes to sit in silence and enjoy it? 

My mind is worn and full of this and that's yet never an answer. I'm tired of having twenty-four hours in a day and only finding maybe one to two hours a day to get everything done. I just feel like taking a break.

I need a break. My blog makes no sense. I want to use this as a platform to speak out but also to vent. I want to be able to sit at the computer and find words to complete a simple sentence to keep this blog running.

Where do I go from here?

Ipsy Bag November 2015

Wandering Willows

My eyes flutter but they do not shut. Thoughts move too fast but leave a trail that creates its own sentences. I feel stuck yet my mind feels like it's flying freely. Holding hope in one hand and despair in the other, I move about the night like a quiet mouse not wanting to sleep but to be awake and alive. Willow, a word that came from no where, yet feels so right as a title. Feeling so much at once that it is overloading every inch of my body. Not mania, maybe a hint of madness, locked away, now unleashed to never be led only to lead. The fan hums its soothing tone and his breathing is steady all calm around me but not in me. Finding my reflection I see what is that I thought would never be, and what is is disappointing and sad. Numbers play games but the mirror never lies. Deep inside I feel this tug to go back, to be in that mind space all over again thinking that it will work this time, though it never does. Run away with me to the forest of dreams, walking on clouds and touching stars letting go of the despair like rain watering the most beautiful of flowers.

Words now begin the slowly disintegrate as I try to finish what I came to say. Words are tricky things the mind puts together to rob itself of peace and sanity. Madness all around. Maybe just maybe myself has returned. Or maybe this is the start of something new. ...

October Favourites 2015

Creating an "Emotional Emergency Kit"