Trying to Love My Body

Those who read this may know about my past or most will be learning my story as you continue to read on. As most girls who start puberty around the age of eleven (11) or twelve (12) I started to notice my body more. Today at age 25 I still look in the mirror trying to always find something that has yet to come. Self Acceptance. 

Eating disorders start early and, if you are lucky, caught early can be "cured" at a faster rate. I'm 25 and am still in the midst of the battle. No, I'm not a stick. I was. Now I am on the other end of the spectrum. I cannot win for losing. I made my mate buy me a two (2) year subscription to our local 24 hour gym. However, within these two years, I have collectively only spent seven months using this gym to it's semi-fullest. I gave up. I didn't see any results and I didn't have a trainer to ask what I was doing wrong. For so many years I ran miles a day and was tiny and fit and now, now, I'm just some girl who has a gym membership that doesn't use it and completely hates her own reflection. I swore to myself I would never be that "national average woman" and yet that is the statistic that I have become. 

A class mate has been a sales rep for It Works! and I finally decided to give this a go. Why not? It's not like I have bought in to the diet fad of pills, powders, and the own punishment to my body. So far I have just taken off my second wrap. Yay?? or Nah???  Well right now my body is adjusting to this product and so far in my eyes I have not seen a change in anything. Now it is 9:02 p.m. so the morning my bring a surprise to my eyes. If not I still have six more Wraps to throw my hope into. 

This year I want to become happy with me. Not with the face of make-up I wear and the clothes that try to conceal my body. I want to be a full on bikini on the beach, I don't give a freak what people think. I want that because I've never had the chance to honestly experience that since before puberty. I want to be able to tell my therapist that I am okay with what my body looks like. Right now, I can't. I simply can't. I wear everything I can to hide the fact that I went from a stick to a doughnut.  

I hope this It Works! really does work so that maybe I can get my head together and find a way to accept what I have, be thankful for it, and take better care of it. 

Any concerns can be expressed through comments or if you cannot leave a comment for some reason  you may contact me at:   imagine08aimer@gmail.com  

2016... new year.... new outlook.... new me.