Disappearing into Frustrated Exhaustion

Hours blur into days as life continues at its fast speeds, nothing to which I can compete with. I may not have many "weekly" hours in my second job this week, despite that fact, I still cannot seem to cope with daily living. Laundry piles as I run out of clothes for work hoping amongst the clean clothes sitting in their hampers waiting to be put away, that I may find myself a clean pair of pants and undergarments. It is a shame that this is how life has become for me; that I allow myself to be consumed into a trap. To glissade down that ugly rabbit hole that not even Alice could rise from is my journey these last few days.

Frustration builds as my tired body and brain want to take a break; to hide from life in its entirety. Nonetheless, I pick myself up and move on with my daily living in hopes that the back pain will magically disappear and that the grieving process would go away. 

Words cannot contain the disparity of which the world sees my portrayal than what my reality truly is. Though moments do spill fragments of my turmoil, no one really sees the depth at which I have sunken. This is not Wonderland, and I am not Alice. I walked through the glass but my time seems to be running out before I even knew the clock had begun to tick. Sand slowly but gradually hastens to slip through the tube as a grander image of time.

Frustration, Exhaustion, Despair, Hurt, Sorrow, Lost, Dazed.  So many adjectives, yet none seem to truly describe what this is. I, myself, can only try to walk back through that mirror and hope that time becomes a friend and no longer a foe.