The more I think, the more I wonder just what my life is. How are my emotions related to my moods; and how those moods relate to the bipolar disorder and which are just normal human being things.
Anger has been an issue. Yes, I am under a lot of stress, familial wise and just life in general. I feel angry at the world not just at one person but just angry all the time. I hate the person driving in front or behind me. I am pissed at Greg and that is no way to treat your significant other. I take a lot of frustration out on our relationship not expecting consequences let alone how he feels.
How can I determine if this is all stress related or is this anger a deep seeded issue that not even medicine can tame??
What do I do? I see a therapist but she isn't like a real clinical psychologist so all we do is "shoot the breeze." I talk but more times than not I feel like I am talking to a wall. I know, "change therapist..." well in this area it is not always easy to find someone who can take a new patient within the confines of our tri-county area. I would love it if I had a therapist who would take what I say and create worksheets and "assignments" for me to process what I am going through. I am bored with just a simple "chat" session with no results. I mean come on seeing her for three years and I can't find a single thing that has really been a successful session that I was able to take away something useful.
Am I just an angry person that is stuck in a situation of rat on a wheel??? Is the anger a form a depression that is more out-ward than inward?
What steps do I take to talk to my spouse and help him understand that I am not mad at him, just the world????
I am so lost as to whether it is disorder or just another character defect that I am too lazy to work on.
Help... Please....
Wednesday, 22 April 2015
Saturday, 11 April 2015
Wednesday, 1 April 2015
Monday, 30 March 2015
Divergent Series
After reading almost all of the series and whilst sat here watching Divergent for the first time it makes me wonder what faction I would choose.
Dauntless seems like a seductive and adrenaline rushing choice. One that breaks the barrier of fears and pushes to one to the limit. I know I could never be Abnegation because selflessness is just not something that I could do on a daily basis. How about Erudite? I believe that would be a great choice since I have spent much of my life in school and studying facts, truths, and lies.
It all makes me wonder if a world like that would actually become a reality in our lifetime.
My faith allows me to believe that we all will not go to heaven but will reside forever upon this earth as it becomes restored to the paradise that will come after Armageddon. I know that these "factions" will never truly exist but what if it ever did happen.... What would you choose?
Leave in the comments what you would choose and why.
Dauntless seems like a seductive and adrenaline rushing choice. One that breaks the barrier of fears and pushes to one to the limit. I know I could never be Abnegation because selflessness is just not something that I could do on a daily basis. How about Erudite? I believe that would be a great choice since I have spent much of my life in school and studying facts, truths, and lies.
It all makes me wonder if a world like that would actually become a reality in our lifetime.
My faith allows me to believe that we all will not go to heaven but will reside forever upon this earth as it becomes restored to the paradise that will come after Armageddon. I know that these "factions" will never truly exist but what if it ever did happen.... What would you choose?
Leave in the comments what you would choose and why.
Tuesday, 10 March 2015
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